Famous Players might as well start to garnishee my wages now

It now seems that I will be spending the glorious warm days of summer trapped in a dark and windowless box with upwards of a hundred other geeks. The summer movie season is now upon us.

I was well aware that I had to begin psyching up for the next Star Wars installment (truth be told, part of me thinks “enough, already!”, kind of like the never-ending Robert Jordan Wheel of Time series, but it’s a part that’s easily beaten down and lost in the noise of ridiculous hype).

What has snuck up on me, in my hermit-like existence of rabbit-ear television, are two other “epic” movies that I must now add to my list of summer flicks.

Within the space of about 15 minutes last night, I saw two new (to me) previews that called for immediate attention. First, was The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I mean, my god, how can you not go. ‘nough said. No, not quite. It has John Malkovich in it. How can you not go??

The second trailer was for Kingdom of Heaven. This stars not only Liam Neeson, but Orlando freaking Bloom. Those two alone are worth the cheesiness that will ensue. Oh, and it will ensue. Not only do we already have a religious theme that will be, undoubtedly, bludgeoned to death, but the scenes in the trailer were accompanied by some wailin’ electric guitars. Oh, yeah. Perhaps I’ll watch with ear plugs…

These two, and the aforementioned Star Wars, of course, are Big Screen Shows. No doubt about it. The only problem is that I hate going to theatres. They’re full of obnoxious people and invariably uncomfortable; my knees ache for days afterward. But, for these, I’ll sacrifice. That, and I mean, really, it’s not every day that I get to eat pizza, popcorn, gummie bears and/or Skor bits in the space of 3 hours.

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