Someone is out to get me

An event happened last Thursday, prior to the U2 concert. An event so traumatic that I had to forcibly wall it up in my mind to get through the rest of the day without simply collapsing into a stuttering heap on the pavement. I can barely recount it now without feeling tingles along my neck, in my hair, along the backs of my arms…

It was a beautiful day. It was such a beautiful day that I thought I’d take a walk at lunch along the treed side streets, instead of the noisy main drag, as I made my way toward a clutch of restaurants. Leaves and blossoms fluttered down around me as I wandered down the road, eyes to the sky and proverbial spring in my step.

I passed a random woman on my way and she gave me a screamingly-obvious pained look. What-freaking-ever. It was a beautiful day and I had U2 tickets.

I turned the corner and looked down – at something on the sidewalk, toward my purse or perhaps at a pigeon in the grass. I have no recollection anymore of what initially caught my eye. The only things I ended up seeing were two large yellow hairy eyeballs and a set of nasty mandibles. A large (and no doubt, hungry) tree-coloured moth was making its way up my shirt. The vile thing had tricked me earlier by looking like floating foliage.

I then did, as any sane person would, the holy-shit-get-this-thing-off-me dance, much to the consternation and amusement of every other pedestrian within a three block radius.

Too shaky to continue, I settled into the nearest restaurant and contemplated whether I’d actually rid myself of the six-legged demon or whether I’d simply knocked it into my purse (why, oh why, did I have to get the ever-so-cute snap purse without a secure, but not-so-cute, zipper??).

I spent the majority of my lunch kicking my purse on the seat across from me to see if anything launched out at me, before having to stick a tentative hand in to pay at the end of my meal. No moth. I damn near wept.

After recent events, I’m starting to think this is a conspiracy. I only just realized that Marlo Girl commented on my last moth post and that (YAY!) my mother and I have company in our “irrational” fear. Irrational. Yeah. Just think about it a little more the next time one of their viscous, flailing bodies “accidentally” slams into you.

Here’s to a week of nothing with more than four legs and avoiding bright lights in the dark.

One response to “Someone is out to get me

  1. Oh Jenn, The spinach moth left me wincing a bit, but the one on your shirt (at least your telling of it)has me laughing out loud. Please forgive me for wishing I’d been there – or maybe I was – I can see that dance so clearly.

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