Oh, is it getting near Christmas??
Must be all the eggnog, gingerbread and pounds upon pounds of chocolate that are distracting me from the true spirit of consumerism. Far too easy, these days, to be lulled into a fat and sugar filled stupor early in the shopping day; one must have their whip-cream topped gingerbread latte and icing-slathered scone to start the day, after all. What then, of stores and shopping? Wandering aimlessly in such a
stoned blissfully full and caffeinated state can truly only bring feelings of peace and ambivalence. Far too stressful, is it not, to enter an elbow-to-elbow store for a scented bar of soap? Why, one’s coffee might be bumped! And, really, once that level of caffeination has been achieved, only more will do. The only (and I mean ONLY) sensible shop to visit at this point is one filled with chocolate. And doesn’t everyone love chocolate for the holidays??
With apologies to the diabetics, the dieting and the allergic: no one’s really thinking of you at this point. It’s all rather self-serving, for it’s only as the shopper arrives home, bags bulging with rich, endorphin-inducing morsels, that they realise the error of their ways.
Another trip to mall must be planned. Real, proper gifts must be purchased. No, one can’t really send candy out to everyone [and yet… it still must be eaten…]. The next trip to the mall, of course, must begin early to avoid the certain rabid gathering of other shoppers. It will require foresight, courage and, above all, the energy to take on parking, sales clerks and santas.
It will require beginning the day with a large coffee and sugar-coated scone.