my plan for a new Guinness record

My body seems to have decided on a new goal: largest belly button diameter.

I am not [yet] sporting the ‘outie’ look but, instead, going for the ‘seriously stretched’ look.

It’s kinda weird.

No, you probably don’t really need to know any of this but, should I make it into the Guinness Book of World Records for navel size, I thought it best to begin my support base now. The before and after shots of my belly button [uh, no, I probably don’t have a before shot…] could be right up there with some of the stuff they showed on the Guinness tv show [no! that kind of change just can’t be humanly possible! the stretch! the tension! the sheer SIZE!]

ugh.

It’s like the fact that I’m now just starting to show, but only enough so that people are wondering why I’m eating so much when I obviously can’t fit into my pants anymore. I need to just start looking unquestionably pregnant. And my navel just needs to turn outie. No more of these half-assed gestures of gestation.

Unless there really is a navel diameter category in Guinness…

2 responses to “my plan for a new Guinness record

  1. People wonder why I am eating so much when I obviously can’t fit into my pants anymore too…. But I’m not pregnant.

  2. I swear they have a category for everything in Guiness! it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if they have a navel diameter category… 🙂

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