honey, get in here and grab my ass

I think that using a line like that is only going to work on Mr.Q once.

After my last trip to the chiropractor and from general unstretchiness at recent prenatal yoga classes, it seems that the various muscle groups in my butt and/or hips are in revolt. And so, it seems rather advantageous to have them massaged out, should I wish to continue walking upright and being able to sleep at night.

As an convenient bonus in order to facilitate massages, since becoming pregnant, I’ve become rather used to saying one thing while meaning another.

This must be some kind of giant set-up for baby talk. Gag-worthy euphemisms to describe the pregnancy and the baby [bump, precious cargo, bun in the oven, etc] are not even the start of it. These pet names are produced by friends and family who, given the benefit of the doubt, may be so overjoyed that they are unable to find the appropriate words. But I think the entire medical community is in on it too. The videos shown in our prenatal class insist on calling the amniotic fluid and sac the Bag of Waters. I guess pluralizing “waters” somehow enhances the description… All sorts of various other clinical terms and concepts, the likes of which I won’t subject you to, have also been assigned sun-shiny monikers in an effort, perhaps, to de-ick the process, but certainly do nothing to demystify it. How am I supposed to know what the hell is going on if it all sounds like a daisy and bird-song filled walk in the park, the likes of which can’t possibly require any further thought in my silly little head?

For the time being, Mr.Q and I are able to have a good laugh at most of it [sometimes, not until after looking up what the daisy, bird-song term really means]. However, it becomes rather easy to see myself graduating to renaming all sorts of baby bodily functions and any other potential unpleasantness now that I am accustomed to, if not at peace with, seeing it done on a regular basis.

In the mean time, I can have lots of practice trying to find new ways to get a butt massage.

**********
Tried to post this last night, but was having some serious Blogger issues…better late than never, I suppose.

Final plug for Scooter – don’t forget to visit my renter! He’s in his last day and I’m sure he’d like a few more clicks. And, as an added bonus, he’s well worth the read!

5 responses to “honey, get in here and grab my ass

  1. That’s because blogger suxxxxxxxx….:P

    I’ll take my butt massage now, please!

    Heh

  2. oh, yeah…I’m having sparse moments of clarity, but I’m not sure if the whole epiphany has hit me yet. besides, moving sux too. 😀

  3. I got in trouble at our prenatal class because I asked just how many different waters were in the bag to justify the plural. Instuctor was confused and the missus took a whack at me. Still I wonder….

  4. I feel the same way as you, and I’m not pregnant. At least, I don’t THINK I’m pregnant…

    Do I look pregnant to you?

  5. RainyPete: lol – our instructor seems a little more BS-free than “bag of waters”, but I doubt she has little choice in the videos that get shown. There are a few guys in our class who had the potential to ask – maybe they were just too icked-out.

    Useless Man: Looking pregnant? No! Not at all! Anyone who tells you otherwise is just jealous.

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