Unlike my renters in the sidebar [shameless plug – go visit!!], babyQ is not always the best tenant.
And so, with 27 days officially left, I have decided that it’s time to begin pondering her eminent eviction. Yes, eviction. I can’t really see the relinquishing of my belly being a nice, uneventful and amicable situation. Besides, she has been guilty of some rather heinous things:
- applying undue pressure to my bladder without sufficient warning
- extensively redecorating the exterior of her home
- causing stress to the structural integrity – fortunately my chiropractor has a bed that allows the tummy part to drop out
- rerouting the circulation to the left leg, necessitating relocating the ankle above hip-height and changes in footwear
- draining brain power and rendering the landlord a blathering idiot at the most inopportune moments
Now, really. What landlord would tolerate a tenant who messes with the plumbing, the walls, the beams and the electricity?? Granted, it is difficult to be landlord here and extremely difficult to ask or demand that a tenant leave. But I think that I may have the beginnings of a case.
And I’ve been nice. I’ve charged her no rent, taken her to concerts, fed her well and even furnished a great room for her to have after she leaves. And really, up until the last week or so, babyQ has been an excellent tenant, but perhaps she’s decided to test the limits of my, thus far, accommodating nature.
So, I’ve decided to give her four weeks’ notice. But, in reality, I’d probably let it slide to five or six weeks if she feels she needs the time [not going to tell her that, though]. Any longer than that, and I’ll have to call in the big guns.
Here’s hoping she takes it well and doesn’t spend her last few weeks trashing the place…