Everyone says, the hard change is 1 to 2 kids, not 2 to 3, that’s easy. Once you have two, you can have 8.

Here’s the thing, I think the hard change is 0 to 1. All of a sudden, you go from being this happy couple (unless you are a single parent, but I’m assuming not for the sake of this post), to having a little person to take care. Gone is sleeping until noon, staying out until 3, sex at 10 am, and dinner at 8:00 pm.

Very few people talk about the major changes a child brings into your relationship. Sure, you hear about sleepless nights, spit up, and never having sex again. But the fundamental relationship change, that is largely ignored. I love my husband so much more since seeing him as a dad, but the love is different. It’s deeper, and more meaningful, but it’s more hurried and less nurtured and worked on.

As someone who is most likely to have an only by choice (don’t yell at me on this blog, please go to mine to do it. Poor Jenn does not want to hear it) it is hypocritical of me to say this, but I’m going to say it anyway-

Once you have 1 you can have 8. 0 to 1 is the hard change, after that it’s a walk in the park.

Jodi is mom to a 21 month old, part-time lawyer, and wife. She blogs at Jodifur about all these things and many more. Please visit, and you will see Jen’s post! This is all part of The Blog Exchange.

4 responses to “changes

  1. Seriously. It’s rough — no matter how long you have been together. I haven’t quite nailed as to why that is – but I think it has a lot to do with the change and taking on of a new role.

    Some can do it and some need a lot of help.

  2. It’s funny when I read your first line I thought myself “the hardest is from 0-1”. I had a very hard time adjusting to one kid. I had no idea how to be a parent, how to meet other moms for playdates, and how to incorporate my new baby into the life that my husband and I had together. What I found is that a lot of stuff changed, but a lot of stuff stayed the same. For example, we really like eating at restaurants (particularly different ethnic restaurants). Everyone said that would go once the baby came. Not true. Two kids later, we still go to restaurants although not as often. It’s important to us so we taught the older one how to behave and always bring a “restaurant bag” with us filled with special toys, crayons, etc. My older son eats whatever we’re eating. Going from 1 to 2 was pretty easy for me although I know my friend who’s second baby has acid reflux would strongly disagree.

  3. 0-1 has definitely been a big change around here. We’re not sure if we will see a change from 1 to 2, but I suspect you’re correct in that the mindset and the little knowledge already in place would make it a little easier.

  4. Hell yes the hard change is from zero to one! Once you get from 0-1, the challenge is from that to even more. It’s a challenge my husband and I aren’t sure we’re ready to meet.

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