Dear people trying to sell newspaper subscriptions, cable tv upgrades and competitor’s alarm systems,
If you come stomping up my front steps in full view of my window and ring the doorbell, the sound of your elephantine arrival and chime-y announcement will make my dog bark.
If my dog barks, the sharp sound of his voice – which is laying out, in no uncertain terms, your fastest route to hell – will wake my daughter from her peaceful slumber.
And, at that point, there is next to nothing you can say that will convince me to buy into your sales pitch.
Just letting you know so you don’t waste your time. Or wake up my daughter and piss off my dog. And me.
Thanks so much,
p.s. please forward this information along to politicians and anyone selling chocolate almonds.