So, when are you having another?

In conjunction with Body, Soul & Baby, the Parent Bloggers Network is having another Blog Blast! Psst – join in! There’re prizes! What’s the most annoying preggo or new mom question I’ve been asked?

That is easy: So when are you having another?

I had so many people ask me this within days of announcing my pregnancy with the Magpie. Days, people! I had yet to successfully carry one pregnancy, happily contemplate birthing a 10 pound baby, endure major abdominal surgery and the subsequent recovery and then learn how to nurse, change, care for and love one baby while having several melt downs every day for a long, long post-partum month. How, why and when would I have been in a position to contemplate another?? Jesus Murphy, even one year later, it seems like an unanswerable question. I’m not about to say ‘no’, here, but I’m not about to say ‘yes’ and I’m sure as hell not going to put a time frame on it for you!

Did I tell you when we were trying to conceive the first time? [rhetorical question only for people who don’t have access to Quarter Rest]. No? Then, even if we do decided to try and have another baby, we won’t be telling you then either!

Okay, yes, I realise that this is – and will be – a common, well intentioned, if not poorly thought out, question. And my real life answers usually start with a good natured [I hope] laugh and end with something vague and mumbly. But, damn it, one day someone is going to ask me after a long night and before I’ve had my coffee. I guarantee nothing then…

Don’t you wish you could have just handed them this??

7 responses to “So, when are you having another?

  1. Yup. I got this too. Right after the ultrasound, with 20+ weeks to go of pregnancy: “Since it is a boy, are you going to have another so you can have a daughter?” and “Your grandma wants to have a great-granddaughter, so you’d better have another!”

    Um, lemme have this one first. Yeah. Thanks.

  2. I don’t know what it is that inspires people to imply that they know best for others, especially for parents. I posted on this question, too.

  3. While we did purposely space our children close (they’ll be almost exactly two years), we were also getting this question within days of Nick’s birth. At that point, I was never, EVER having another child. (Sleep deprivation is killer on the baby bug.) With my kidney disorder, it was basically up to my health when we would be able to try again but I didn’t really feel like going into the long, in depth conversation about my genetic disorder with every Joe Schmoe who was nosy enough to ask!!

    (Blog Blast stop in!)

  4. The only thing that was worse was having people ask all the time when I was going to have a baby. We were married seven years and could not conceive. we adopted at that point, adopted again 2 years later and then got pg 6 months after the second adoption. Then all people wanted to know was when we were going to try to have a second! We didn’t. Those questions can hurt…and they are none of anyone’s business! I got to the point of telling people just those words.

  5. My answer used to be “Beats me, when are you going to have a go at your own?” That less than elegant response usually assured a fair break before they asked again.

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