I will begin with the positives: it is much appreciated – let me repeat: much – when you decide to take the time to care for you feet. Your feet appreciate it. Your socks appreciate it. I appreciate it.
There is, however, one more little thing that would also be greatly appreciated, in addition to the trimming of toenails. Please, should you find it necessary to care for your feet outside of the bathroom, make sure I don’t know about it. Don’t tell me of the event, as you sit in the living room, tending to toes. And, please return the clippers to their rightful drawer so that I don’t find them on a dining room chair. It’s icky. I know our bathroom isn’t terribly large; it certainly can’t accommodate a cozy chair or television set. But it does have good lighting and seating that is comfortable enough for the duration of a chapter or single game of kakuro.
I will not tell you this in person, because it may cause you give up on foot care all together and we really can’t have that. But if you catch me staring at you, it is not only about you’re recently shaped pinkie toe. It’s more about trying to send subliminal messages to your brain about keeping your pedicures behind closed bathroom doors.