We’re learning big words around here. Like consequence and privacy and coincidence. Much to my parents’ horror, we know words like vulva and penis.
We’re learning big concepts, too. Like not-fun consequences when you don’t listen and grandpa is willing play all day long with little prompting.
The Magpie’s learning a few things at day care, too.
During a recent post-consequence debriefing, we were talking about listening: she needed to. I found out that one of her friends told her she doesn’t need to listen to me. So I told her that her friend made a mistake and, really, she does need to listen to me. Since, she wasn’t thrilled with the idea that her friend was wrong, I suggested that it was okay if he said something she didn’t agree with. She could nicely tell him no, I don’t believe that or no, that’s not okay.
Day care has been working with her on saying stop!. She’s getting much better at making her feelings known instead of simply withdrawing to the teachers. And, in my head, I figured no was in the same category as stop.
I was informed that she can’t say no to her friends. Not because the teachers were against it but because if she says no then she will have no friends to play with.
She’s three and a half and has already figured out how to be agreeable to keep the peace and keep her friends.
I’m not even sure I have that figured out most days and I certainly didn’t have it figured out in elementary school, let alone pre-school. She’s getting so much benefit – in social activity and physical activity – out of day care and learning how to interact with other kids and adults has been a world of good for her.
But, damn it, how does one teach being agreeable while sticking to differing opinions and values??