And then there was this time we took our first vacation in nearly two years

I have been webless for over a week. Though, technically, internet access existed, it was costly, slow and or inconvenient in the face of bigger and better things to do [gasp!] or in the face of impatient children and spouses.

So I literally was not online at all for a week.

I survived.

SigOther has lost the unspoken bet. I don’t think he knows that yet, but he’ll find out.

I did have my outlets. I may not have been online, but I still blogged. I think it used to be called journalling. So, sit back and we’ll start at the beginning.

before July 19, 2011

Preamble: I’ve never wanted to cruise, I don’t want to go to Disneyland and I’ve already been to Alaska. Twice.

There are benefits to my type A tendencies. For example, I have often already thought about the annual larger holiday early on in the year and get my heart set on it before anyone comes up with a better idea.

Not so this year.

After last year – with an elderly pet to look after – we didn’t get away and we spent a lot of time and energy not making plans. So it was easy to get into not doing anything and, though I had vague ideas for a getaway this year, I was unprepared when family friends approached us with the idea of a Disney cruise to Alaska. Their daughter is, conveniently, the Magpie’s best friend ever in the history of best friends. The ship is departing from Vancouver this year – and this year only – running a circle route to return to Vancouver in a seven-day trip.

But it’s a cruise.

It’s a Disney cruise.

This would involve thousands of people trapped on a boat and far too many of them would be paid to be eternally chipper, perky and over-the-top. I would be somehow obligated to be eternally chipper, perky and over-the-top in return. Oh, and maintain and retain a friendship that hasn’t gone beyond a few hours of conversation at a time and set up a week of neighbouring berths, shared meals and shared parenting. How could this possible end well?

It doesn’t matter: the kids will love it.

So, I do laundry. I pack. I buy a new zoom lens and UV filter for the camera. I stock up on wine.

Maybe Captain Jack Sparrow will be on board. I wonder if he likes malbec?

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