Dear Disney: an open letter

Dearest Disney World,

Hi. After one full day of travel and three days of Amusement in three of your lovely parks, I find myself at our rental house with the time to properly introduce myself to you.

First, let me say, dear Disney, that you are  a wonderment of efficacy and confusion all at once. Never in my life have I been so disoriented; this has nothing to do with the rides [though the Aerosmith roller coaster with its fancy-schmancy up-side-down-ness certainly did a number on me], but everything to do with your fantastical queueing systems that take amazing twists, turns, ups, downs and arounds. I never have any idea where I am when I exit and can only reference structural landmarks that fade off all too quickly into the flatland horizons of the parks.


And yet, the queues! They move! Even those that are an hour long [we simply avoided any that were longer, and, due to a phenomenal stroke of luck in travelling with such knowledgeable companions, have FastPass tickets for the longer lines] move with such consistency, it’s rather mind boggling. How is it that we always feel like we’re getting somewhere when it’s really only a matter of looping back to within inches of where we just were?!

And the line ups have been worth it. The walking, the teeny little sunburns under the March sun and the 60 SPF, the bloody blisters on my feet: all worth it. But mostly, the quieter days in Epcot and Hollywood Studios have definitely been worth it, after the first day of crazy busy in the Magic Kingdom.


I truly appreciate that you have quieter parks – trust me, I do – but wonder that you haven’t spread some of the crazy of Magic Kingdom around to the other sites. Is there benefit to keeping a gazillion people in one spot? Is the stabbiness when everyone is leaving at the end of the day worth it? Though I managed to keep my stabbiness to a minimum [hint: wine], and the staff certainly kept everyone moving through the slightly mis-leading we’re getting somewhere! queues quite efficiently, closing time is just a stabby place.

Or perhaps it’s just the blisters talking. I’ll let you know on Monday after we go back for another day at the Magic Kingdom. I’ll be conducting a stabbiness experiments: I’ll be wearing sandals.

One response to “Dear Disney: an open letter

  1. You know what I found truly baffling? We never had to wait for a bathroom. No matter how long the lines at rides were, bathrooms were spotless and plentiful. It was amazing, especially with a three year old.

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